A casual Monday evening in Tokyo

Some day, I will write a bit about how Japanese society is portrayed in American media, and how we tend to heavily overemphasize the strange/weird/extreme, resulting in a stereotype that gives an incomplete/inaccurate portrayal of what the country is really all about.

I said some day. Today is not that day.

Instead, we’re going to talk about a decidedly bizarre institution called the “Robot Restaurant”. The Robot Restaurant is one of several themed dining establishments in Tokyo. Others include an Alice in Wonderland restaurant, a cat cafe (where you drink coffee and hang out with a bunch of felines), a goat cafe, a prison theme restaurant, and many more.

Quaint and inviting!

The Robot Restaurant may best be described as every Tokyo stereotype rolled into one full-throttle experience. It’s an hour and a half of massive overstimulation, nonsensical happenings, and loosely controlled pandemonium.

The restaurant managers were interested in listing their show on the Voyagin website so they comped us a few show tickets to come check it out. Sweet perk. A couple of us headed down after work on Monday, including my friend Jossie who was stopping through town for a quick visit.

The restaurant is located in the Kabukicho district, a short walk from Shinjuku station. You may remember Shinjuku’s claim to fame as being the busiest train station in the world. This is an appropriate setting for what is to come.

The street leading up to the restaurant

The lobby was blinged out in a total mishmash of designs, patterns, and colors. Even the air vent is covered in shiny jewels.

Panoramic shot. Click for full glory.

When it’s time for your show, you descend 2 levels through an Alice-in-Wonderland-esque stairwell, bombarded with a barrage of images from every direction, including the floor and ceiling.

The seating was laid out in arena style with the floor left open for later chaos. Food and drink are brought out, and you’re left to chit-chat for a bit with the Australian tourists next to you. Because, let’s be serious, real Japanese people don’t come to this kind of establishment.

Then the show begins. It took us a while to figure out that taking photos and video was actually allowed for some reason so we’ll build into it.

The first act was, and I’m going to sound ridiculous describing this, but: a pole dance on top of a robot with a taiko drum show and marching band going at the same time. Trust me that it gets much stranger.

(Japanese readers: I’m going to apologize in advance for how out of control the writing gets in this section. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the pictures either way.)

The second act had perhaps the most intricate plot. It was a tale of woe and triumph, of struggle and conquest, of pride and loyalty with ever-changing protagonists yanking at our heartstrings in the noble pursuit of good vanquishing evil.

Or something.

Here’s the full rundown:

Step 1 — a bunch of evil gladiator robots come out, dance to techno, and fake-smash things for a while

Step 2 — A giant panda bear comes to fight the gladiators. He is promptly knocked out.

Step 3 — The giant panda returns, this time fueled by a thirst for revenge and having enlisted the assistance of a ferocious bovine ally. Joining forces as friends and teammates, they are able to vanquish the first foe.

Step 4 — A warrior lady appears, modestly dressed in the form of Captain America. This makes sense since we are 5000 miles away from America. She bravely challenges several enemies simultaneously, furthering the cause with additional casualties.

Step 5 — It’s time to deliver the closing blow. As if delivered straight from Jurassic Park itself, our final heroine boldly strides in riding a Stegosaurus and wrecking ball-ish weapon object thing, and crushes the remaining robots with a blow that sends them hurtling across the room at warp speed.

The battle is won. Earth is saved. A solitary tear trickles down the cheek of each member of the audience as they silently contemplate the existential beauty of the poetic scene they have just witnessed.

Other notable occurrences throughout the evening:

Glow sticks are given out for maximum audience participation